Day 50: Tiffany 3

Day 50. It sounds like a milestone, so I've marked it as one. Technically, all going well, only another 78 to go until the 6 rounds of Chemo have run their course!

Today is important not only because I've reached this milestone, but because the 14 March marks the birthday of two important people in the golden web, my friend Helen and nephew George.

First to dear Helen, who sadly died 8 years ago, and who links me to her wonderful daughter Catherine.

Helen launching my book
with an early work of Catherine's in the background

I've mentioned Helen in earlier posts (Day 23: Pink Wedding Crystals). Helen's part of the University of Sydney golden web and is closely connected to Lizzie, Trevor and Lye, Lisa, Deb and Murray, and of course through me, to Rob (indeed, they formed a mutual admiration society of their own). We met when I joined the Government Department at University of Sydney in 1991, a short time after which she became the Head of Department during a challenging time of transition. I'd never met anyone quite like Helen before. She had a magnetic presence, a wonderful laugh, a resonant voice - in part due to her daily cigarette ration (the ash kept to clean the silver) - an irreverent sense of humour, and an incredibly clever and sharp mind. Lisa and I were reminiscing about Helen on the phone today and agreed she was never malicious, hated gossip and sentimentalism, was endlessly generous and always spoke her mind, respectfully.

From Geraldton in WA, Helen had a rare passion among Australian Political Scientists for comparative federalism; something that rubbed off on me, and led to many interesting debates between Helen and John Faulkner over dinner given Labor's long term skepticism about the federal system in the post- Whitlam era. Her academic work on Australian politics and public policy was foundational - the Mayer & Nelson reader was essential for every first year politics student. Not surprisingly given her style and personality, she captivated the class room. Sydney University now has a prize for the best honours dissertation in Helen's honour.

Although Helen was never technically my PhD supervisor, she had a huge influence on my work and guided me through the labyrinth of academic life. She edited the book manuscript to emerge from the PhD (my (mis)use of commas drove her crazy); that book went on to win an important prize in the US (watch out for the earring reward blog in future) with much thanks to Helen's critical editorial eye. Helen and I ran public service training programs together in Australian, Vietnam, Malaysia and Thailand - in the latter case we were viewed with complete distain, which she found appropriate and hilarious. On her own Helen then ventured much further to run programs in Sri Lanka and eventually to Mongolia (!).

Christmas lunch 2002, with
asparagus and aspic mousse

Helen had a commitment to lifelong learning (and doing) long before it became a phrase. In the 18 years we were close friends I knew Helen to enrol in courses in car maintenance; classical music and opera; the stock market; yoga; renaissance art; cooking; and mosaics. She took to the latter seriously, creating a masterpiece that took pride of place in her Potts Point apartment - we held a soiree to celebrate its unveiling. Helen was a regular at the SSO and Opera and she herself played the piano beautifully, including in latter years in an 8 handed-piano quartet. She followed the horses, played bridge and managed to solve the cryptic crossword everyday before breakfast.

Lizzie and Rob with
aspic appearing as jelly for Trevor's party

Preparing for Trevor's birthday
with Helen and Lye, 2000

Helen loved entertaining, always first serving a drink du jour - often involving midori, jagermeister or another exotic liquor, then a three course meal - the table was never complete without at least one dish that included aspic! She hosted birthday parties, graduation lunches, pre-wedding feats, all with great flair. Rob and I, Lizzie and John, Trevor and Lye were all regular guests at her dinner table, and were sometimes her sous chefs. Once when she had bought a new microwave she invited Rob and I over for an experimental dinner with everything cooked from the recipe book that came with purchase...with much laughter we all agreed it was...interesting! Her wonderful apartment overlooked Sydney Harbour and the Domain and she generously opened her house to friends and our families to enjoy the New Years Eve fireworks. As a result, as a young boy James christened her Helen Twinkle, which was entirely appropriate.

Helen was a great adventurer, with Cargo ship sailing her favourite mode of travel. She circumnavigated the world many times on various cargo ships, the first being one of the 'Pink Ladies' - if I remember correctly, a line owned and operated by a German woman. Helen would head off on the high seas for months at a time with her music collection - always including Sibelius and Chopin - her cigarettes, a few good bottles of red, novels and academic books and cryptic crosswords. Helen had an interest in all things German including its federal system, and in latter years held a visiting position at Bamberg University, travelling back and forward there by sea several times for long stints.

Helen's was an undoubtedly a full life, well lived; she continues to inspire me.

Catherine with Helen's beads,
Hague book launch, 2015

The thing that gave Helen the greatest pleasure in life were her children Michael, her grandchildren Sarskia and Oliver, and her daughter, Catherine. Rob and I and the boys have stayed in close contact with wonderful Catherine, and her partner Bart - such a wise, balanced and insightful man -  who live in the beautiful city of Ghent, Belgium.

Boys at Catherine's Sydney exhibition 2012

Catherine is an internationally renown artist who describes herself as a painter with a camera. Her stunning artworks have been shown in Paris and Berlin, New York and LA, in Beijing and Seoul, with one piece now hanging in Australia's Parliament House. The Washington Post recently did a fabulous profile of her work. It's been such a thrill seeing Catherine's art attract such worldwide acclaim. Helen would be so incredibly proud. We are fortunate to have two of her pieces hanging at home, both radiating such beauty.

On top of Arthur's Seat, 2013.
Me wearing Tiffany 3

Like Helen, Catherine has an infectious laugh and wonderful sense of humour. She has an artists eye, picking up on minute details, and seeing the world from unique angles. We always have such interesting conversations. I have been fortunate to catch up with Catherine and Bart in Ghent, and they with us in Florence and Edinburgh, where we climbed Arthur's seat - guided by Rob who had made it part of his regular waking path. Today I'm wearing the simple, translucent and pretty Tiffany amber studs Rob and the boys gave me for my birthday in 2012, which I was wearing that day we walked up Arthur's seat. (I'm not that obsessed that I remember this, but could tell from a larger version of this photo!).

Most recently Rob and I saw Catherine and Bart together in Amsterdam, where Catherine organised dinner for us at an amazing and unique traditional Dutch restaurant called Moeders (Mothers). Here the walls are covered of photos of mothers brought in by patrons. Rob and I took photos of Betty and Mum, which I handed over with great emotion to the owner. Their images now hang there along with Helen's. A few nights later, Catherine came to the launch of my book in the Hague, which was particularly special as I'd dedicated the book to three wise women: Helen, Mum and my school teacher Marg.

With mothers at Moeders, Nov 2015

Catherine and Bart at Moeders

Handing over the photos 

(Just as an aside I've got my heart in my mouth re the Dutch election tomorrow - the election of extreme right wing Geert Wilders would be a disaster for the Netherlands and for Europe. He promises to close mosques, close borders to refugees and pull out of the Euro. His party is currently neck and neck with the current centre ground party...argh!!!).


Now to the second important person of the day, my lovely nephew George. George is the oldest child of Cazy and Ben, the middle member of the three cousin Amigos - born between James on 5 March and Linda and Chris' son Oliver on 18 March. He's a model big brother to Gracie and Henry, a great mate to James, and an important big cousin to Angus. George loves adventure - he's a wicked scooterer (?) and skateboarder rider, and has excelled as a sailor. He's turning into a wonderful young man and I'm sending him huge birthday hugs today.  

Day 50 started with a walk in the park then some lunch and shopping in Chippendale with Robbie. A quiet afternoon was then in order. My energy is running pretty low, the coconut oil not quite keeping pace with the mouth ulcers and my nails are starting to sting. One never knows from day to day the new joys the chemo can bring! A chat with Lisa this afternoon was a great distraction, as was this long missal and thinking about fun times with the wonderful Nelson women.