Day 9: Onyx 2

Now I've started thinking about life through the prism of gratitude, I am starting to realise just how truly blessed and privileged I am. It's the big stuff - I'm feeling so conscious of the perilous state of the globe, the suffering of millions of people who have lost their homes and loved ones through war and devastation and are seeking refuge in a coldhearted and cruel world. So many of these people have no access to water, sanitation, housing, and heat, let alone the sort of medical care I have at my doorstep. Watching people in the US have their already fragile access to health care rolled back is horrendous, and makes me more grateful than ever for our system. It's also the small stuff, being called by Angus' teacher today to support him in his transition to Year 5 knowing I'm undergoing treatment.

Wedding Day 1/2/1964

50th Anniversary 1/2/2014

Today I'm expressing particular gratitude for my parents. 1 February is the date of their wedding, which occurred 53 years ago today. Theirs was the happiest of marriages, underpinned by a bond of true love, loyalty and respect.


It was always clear to us five kids that Mum and Dad's commitment to each other came first, and all else flowed from that, including a sense of security and protection for us. I'm sure the fact that we remain so close as a family comes from this foundation. As parents they were hands-off, in the best sense (aside from the occasional smack on the bum with the wooden spoon from Mum or clip from Dad for Linda and I when we got out of control - it was the '70s!). They guided but never forced us, leaving us to discover our own interests and paths. As children, teenagers and adults Mum and Dad allowed us to push the boundaries in various ways and to make our own mistakes, all the while letting us know they were at our back, and would help us pick up the pieces when the time came. They were never harsh in their judgements, and never kept a tally of our transgressions. They were one amazing couple.


Today I've been showered with love - from the usual suspects at home, and beyond. A delivery of the most beautiful pink lillies from the gorgeous Bec Macken started my morning. A message from Rob's darling colleague Babs Vickery that her choir sang me up last night made me cry. A promise of a convalescence at Jo Kelly's new piece of paradise in Spain fills me with a sense of excitement for the future. Messages in my inbox from Andy, Lizzie, Deb, Anna, Vicki, Emily, Gerra, Eilee...I can't keep up but know that I'm feeling the love from every direction!






I've been wearing another pair of onyx earrings today, hoops with onyx and silver beads. I do love a good hoop earring, as I know do people in my tribe especially Lisa Hill and Suzie Crogan who wear them particularly well. I bought these in early 2006 at a great earring shop in Carlton, Melbourne, just near Melbourne University. It was during one of my trips with Deb and together we went in search of the shop as respite from the week-long intensive school we were attending at the Australian and New Zealand School of Government (shout out here to Sophie Yates, my clever PhD student who is an ANZOG Research Fellow, with a great earring collection and a fabulous shaved head by choice!). I've worn this pair often over the years which explains why they are looking a bit battered and out of shape now.




Day 9 started well with a walk around Sydney park feeling almost normal. By mid afternoon the tiredness and queasyness hit, so I took myself off for a nap. It's about now in the cycle that the chemo is at its peak apparently. Thank goodness the heat has eased off for a few days at least. My scalp isn't quite as angry, but I'm noticing lots of fine hair falling off my head and from my eyebrows. It's the latter that upsets me more; it's a sign of illness, that the baldness is not a choice. But I'm trying to focus on the big picture and be grateful both will grow back.