Day 22: Annette's Blue Crystals / Satellite 4

I felt Mum very close today during the second infusion, wearing another pair of Annette earrings made her very tangible. I have enough pairs of Mum's earring to be able to wear one for each of the six infusions. Mum gave many of these to me just before she died because they connected us in some way, either because we were together at the time she chose them, like the Annecy studs from Day 1, or because I'd given them to her as a gift. I also have a separate collection of earrings she'd given me as gifts. All of them now so precious and irreplaceable.

These blue crystals fit the second category. As I was leaving for a European conference in 2011, I'd asked Mum what she'd like me to buy her. She showed me a pretty new scarf she received as a gift and told me if I could find them, she'd love some bright blue earrings to match. I didn't think I'd have any luck, but when in doubt, head for Satellite ...where of course I hit the jackpot! Deb was with me when I purchased them. She and I were staying in the Marais in a light, bright, quirky converted stables apartment - replete with plaster flaking from the ceiling. We were with the wonderful Fiona and Georgie from Edinburgh, staying in Paris before we headed to St Gallen, Switzerland** for our conference (meeting up with many close friends and colleagues there including Jen Curtin, Jill Vickers, Carol Weissert, Alan Fenna and others). Our special friends Lizzie and Trevor and Lye were also in Paris at the time, so we had the bonus of spending time with them too, including a memorable dinner at Trevor and Lye's lovely apartment in St Germain Des Pres after an exhausting afternoon of shoe shopping. Life on the road sure can be tough sometimes!

(**Beware, although set in picture perfect Heidi country,  St G is a very strange place. It's in the Swiss Canton of the same name, which had a very dubious WW2 history, and where women didn't get the vote until 1971. Surprisingly, we discovered it has very nice salads (!), but it sits on the beer rather than wine divide in Switzerland, which means it is full of boorish, drunken men, which strips it of all its beauty).

Mum and Dad, Christmas 2011

Mum loved these earrings and wore them often, including in this gorgeous photo of her and Dad at Christmas with Paulie and Geets. While trawling through photos to find others of Mum wearing these earrings, I discovered an amazing coincidence: when Mum met the precious babies of my darling Crogan cousins - Sammi and Jodie -  in different cities a few weeks apart, she was wearing the same blue pair! (Harder to see with Hugo, but believe me!). Mum delighted in babies, and the joy they bring, and never more so with these two poppets. Baby Hugo (who belongs to Sammi & Cal) and Florence (who belongs to Jodie and Woody) were born within a month of each other, providing Suzie and Pete with their first two grandchildren and a new grandniece and nephew for Mum and Dad.

Mum with Hugo, 2013

Mum with Florence, 2013

The gorgeous Crogan Clan, 2016

Hugo has now been joined by brother Tommy, and Florence by baby Belle, all doted upon by Poppy Pete, Suzie and Uncle Benny.  How Mum would have loved these precious new additions too.









Day 22 started well. Rob and I had a brisk walk around Sydney Park, pacing up the hills to get my heart rate up before the infusion, as recommended by the exercise physiologist last week. We then drove across to the Kinghorn Centre where I had an appointment with my oncologist, Dr Rachael Dear. Rachel is a compassionate and wise doctor. She was pleased with how I managed the first round, and hopes things will remain fairly constant for the next two rounds, at least while I'm on the FEC cocktail. I'll need an additional drug to help the neutrophils recover more quickly mid cycle, which I'll have as an injection tomorrow. Apparently it can create some aches and pains in the legs and pelvis as it forces the bone marrow into action, so I'll stand by with the panadol. We also discussed options for other surgeons and radio oncologists, as I'm keen to move on from those I've been seeing for range of reasons. She was so thoughtful, professional and respectful in her response, and will refer me to others she highly respects.

At base camp of Chemoworld 

I then headed down to the clinic where I was introduced to my nurse for today, Joshi. Another highly competent and friendly oncology nurse who has worked in the area for a decade, Joshi accessed the port without a fuss, and set the infusion running, which again took about 3 hours. I passed the time by answering some of the messages of support I received from all over, and doing the quick crossword with Robbie.  We almost got it out bar two clues. I bet Dad got them! I now regret not listening more carefully to dear Helen who tried to teach me the knack of cryptics, but I suspect that my brain just doesn't work that way.

The chemo is a massive assault on the system no doubt, leaving me feel light headed and queasy, and needing to head home for a good lie down! Again, I feel so grateful for the excellent care I received today, and for Robbie's constant support. The boys have been gorgeous, so sensitive and accepting of my new almost hairless head (I left a pile of stubble on the chemo chair). I'm feeling such love and support being beamed my way. I'm a very fortunate woman.