Day 60: Sophie's Ruby Red sparkles

I've been bursting to wear these beautiful ruby red earrings Sophie Yates, my lovely PhD student, sent me from Melbourne a few weeks ago. Finally, today I had the chance wear them as I had a teleconference with Sophie and with my dear colleague Jan (Day 35) to review the latest chapters of Sophie's fascinating dissertation on the Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence. She received an A+ for progress! Sophie is one of those dream students who is motivated, smart, organised and prolific. She'll come out of this process with an excellent thesis, important research and analytical skills and the foundation for a successful academic career, should she want it.  It's a pleasure to supervise such a committed young researcher, and it's a bonus to being doing it with Jan who is so knowledgeable about this area.

When Sophie sent these earrings she included this note, which I thought was just so great it's worth posting here:

Sophie in action, Dec 2016

Soph is a baldie by choice, and it looks fabulous on her. As she lives in Melbourne, we haven't had the chance for a joint baldness photo yet but I did take this snap of her giving a great presentation at the Women in Leadership Forum in Brisbane a couple of months ago. Soph has her own great earring collection too, and was wearing a gorgeous pair this day.














Day 60 (I'm getting through it!) was a good day. After my call with Sophie and Jan I had a treat, visiting to my lovely beautician Aoife to have my nails painted black again - it's the only fun and indulgent side of this process!

I came home for afternoon tea with Steph (Day 28) and Nat ( Day 12). I've been wanting to introduce these two super women for months and knew they would hit it off. Nat and I had a gluten free bake off - she won with the most divine 'Persian Love Cake' to mark Persian new year. My almond, orange & ricotta cake needs work - it has an odd texture and is a bit dry.

I can feel the start of something...with Steph & Nat

Persian Love cake by Nat

Orange, Almond and Ricotta cake by Lou

A quiet night with the jigsaw and Broadchurch in the comfy track suit Lindy gave me and I'm a happy girl!

P.S. I've changed the blog back to the old format after negative feedback from a few people. It might not look as nice, but it much easier to navigate - practicality wins over aesthetics this time.

Day 59: French pink disks

Today I'm wearing another pair of French earrings, bought in Paris in 2008 when I was there for a few days on my own returning from a conference in Rennes with Fiona, Georgina and the gang. These are not from Satellite, but from a jewellery shop tucked in behind the Rue du Rivoli and the Pompidou Centre. I've worn them often over the years, and they are now looking a little worse for wear with some fading and discolouration around the edges, but at the time I was attracted to the colour - bright pink with blue flecks - and the small sleepers to which the disks are attached.

With Peter, Mary Ann and George,  2013

The earrings link me to the wonderful Mary Ann O'Loughlin. Mary Ann is also part of the Sydney University web - a great friend of Lizzie, Deb, Kate and Betty, and Trevor and Lye. She is a social policy guru, having worked as a senior adviser on Paul Keating's staff, at senior levels in the Commonwealth bureaucracy and now as Deputy Secretary of the NSW Department of Premier and Cabinet - the place where I had my first job after finishing my undergrad degree. Mary Ann has an incredibly sharp mind, is a warm and caring person and very witty. She's been big a support to me over the years as I've managed these health challenges, giving me great advice and sending thoughtful messages. I know from those who've worked with Mary Ann, she's a considerate boss and a pleasure to work with. I wish she was there when I was in the Cabinet Office!

Deb and I were fortunate to be have Mary Ann participate in a conference we organised on gender and federalism when she was the Head of the Secretariat of the Council of Australian Governments. She took seriously our work on the need for gender disaggregated data and through her role was able to encourage the Council to include gender indicators in some of its research and policy work.  I was wearing these earrings the day Mary Ann came to speak at a conference; she gave a great presentation that nailed the point about the value and need for this data. We had other high flyers there too including Anna Bligh, just after she'd stepped down as QLD Premier, and former head of the Commonwealth Prime Minister's Department, Peter Shergold. My good colleague, and hopefully soon to be my new Dean, George Williams, also took part.

Lizzie's ginger flowers

Day 59 has been a good one. Serendipitously, I ran into my lovely neighbour Katie and Bec during my walk around Sydney Park this morning, and had a great catch up with them. Of course, with two degrees of separation, Bec works with Mary Ann, and is one of the people that has extolled her virtues as a manager.

After my walk, Lizzie came over for a cup of tea with treats including tickets to the French Film Festival and another bunch of stunning ginger flowers. This evening, while Angus was at his mates place, Rob and I met James in town for his school interviews - his teachers confirmed that he's working hard, but as we've heard in every interview since Kindy, apparently he talks too much! I'm sure there's a way to channel those verbal skills somehow. The three of us went out for a nice Japanese meal to celebrate a job well done.  

Proud Dad and son

Day 58: Deb's Spots & Dot's

Like me, Deb (Day 8) is an earring collector. She has so many gorgeous pairs, and we've enjoyed trawling earring shops when we've travelled together. Deb told me about her favourite earring shop in Flinders Lane, Melbourne - eg etal -  a few years ago, and I have visited there, and admired the divine pieces, but never made a purchase. So, it was with great delight I received from Deb and Mel a fabulous pair of earrings from that shop a couple of weeks ago - gold dots on cream spots, on a long gold hook made by a design duo called Peaches and Keen. Having their first outing today, these earrings are so light and wonderful to wear. (The designers sound like they are gutsy grrrls, taking on Target for ripping off their intellectual property a year ago).

With these earrings on, and thinking about all the good things that are linked to my relationship with Deb, I realised that there were some important people in the golden web spun from Sydney University that are yet to make an appearance on the blog: Joanne Kelly, Leanne Piggot and Carson - who with Deb and I make up the 'Houdini Sisters'. We hit on this name after we all went through various contortions to escape from the Government Department in the early 2000s at a time when the Department was going through a particularly bad patch, which included blatant hostility to women who showed any talent.

Jo is a public finance and public policy expert, and consultant to a range of governments, the World Bank, and the OECD. Leanne, has a background as an expert in Middle East politics, but in recent years has been involved in business education, where she is now doing exciting things at the Centre for Social Impact at UNSW. Carson is busy devising new forms of democratic practice no less, via the new Democracy Foundation, providing innovative solutions to address the demise of our existing representative system of government. It's just dawning on me that with this combination of skills, and Deb's social policy expertise, we could establish a Cabinet (or no doubt Carson can suggest a better mechanism) that is much more creative and effective than the numbskulls that are currently in office. Vote 1 Houdinis!

Deb, Carson and Jo drinking Houdini wine

We continue to stay connected, getting together for a number of meals throughout the year to catch up, support each other through tough times and celebrate our various achievements. At one recent meal at Leanne's we enjoyed a bottle of wine called 'Houdinis' that Deb discovered at a specialist wine shop. It was an edgy sav blanc which was very appropriate!

Carson officiating at Jo and Diego's wedding

Gorgeous Joanne

Last year we took part in the most wonderful celebration for Jo when she married her Spanish love, Diego, in a beautiful ceremony at Palm Beach - we all agreed it was one of the most heartfelt and happy weddings we'd ever been too. A special feature of the wedding was that Carson, who is a licensed wedding celebrant, did the honours.

Leanne, Deb, Carson and me with blushing bride, 2016

Although we don't get together too often, these four women are such important people in my life, and I feel so fortunate to know them all.

Ross with young Cal and Will,
our wedding, 2001

Back in the day after Cricket, 1984

Today is an important and sad day for the Ridley clan as it marks the second anniversary of the death of Rob's Dad, Ross. Ross was a great sports- and outdoorsman, with a quick wit and strong love of his family; he's greatly missed by everyone.

Rob and Molly Dog today, courtesy of Anna

In our house his spirit lives on in our precious Molly dog, who Angus christened as Molly Ross, after we got her shortly after he died. Ross was a great dog lover, and it seems to have carried through the generations, to Rob and to the boys who fight over having her to cuddle up to every night.

Anna, Deb and me with new earrings

Day 58 has been a busy one. A walk this morning with Rob, then a  visit from Maddie who has bought me another lovely pair of earrings and an inspired gift - a tunisian crotchet  set - which I can't wait to get into. After coming down with a crashing headache, I had to cancel lunch with Lizzie and opt for a sleep instead. Feeling brighter this afternoon, I was happy to see  Deb on her way back from the airport after two weeks in Bermagui, and her precious daughter Anna, who I hadn't seen for ages. Deb spoilt me again with the prettiest French shirt, with dots, that exactly match the earrings.

The tiredness really hit hard today, I guess I've been overly ambitious these past few days, so will shoot for a few quite days from here until the end of the week. Dr Kath called to check up on me. I'm surrounded by wonderful friends, family and carers. How lucky am I!

Day 57: Andy's Hamsa Hands

Today I'm wearing one of the two gorgeous pairs of earrings Andy (Day 16) gave me last week to mark the midpoint of the treatment. These are a pair of 'Hamsa Hands', which I've always associated with Indian culture, but as Andy told me, and as I read up on them now, realise they originated in the Middle East and are an important symbol in almost every faith. These hands are a protective sign, bringing the wearer happiness, luck, health, and good fortune. They also ward off evil spirits. It's a combination that I so need right now, and so typical of Andy to find something so appropriate! 

I wore these today for a busy day at work, with four back-to-back meetings - I wasn't worried about evil spirits, but good fortune always comes in handy! My first meeting was as a member of the UNSW Honorary degree committee, chaired by our Chancellor David Gonski, and boy does that man know how to run a meeting! Second, was a catch up with Andy and lovely Emily Waller, our joint PhD student, recently returned from Africa and about to get stuck into her thesis writing in earnest. Third, I did a pre-record of a presentation for the Manchester conference I'm sadly missing out on in early April. And finally, I enjoyed a long overdue lunch with my dear Law colleague, Sarah Williams. Not only did Sarah shout me lunch, she gave me a generous gift of a beauty treatment gift voucher, and a pretty pair of earrings, selected by her two  delightful daughters, to be displayed soon. Another great colleague, Paula also sent me a thoughtful gift. I feel so incredibly spoilt, cared for and protected! 

Millie and her first Nanny cuddle

Millie and doppelganger Ceilidh Doll

Today is also important as it's the birthday of my special niece, Millie Watson. It's hard to believe that she was born 22 years ago today; I remember it as if it was yesterday. 
Mum and I were looking after her big siblings, 

Millie, Poppy and me, Somerset House, London July 2015

Daisy and Harry, when my brother-in-law Col called to tell us Millie had arrived. Mum and I, (I think with Lindy and Cazy) all rushed to Prince Alfred Hospital as soon as we could to meet our new grand-daughter and niece. Millie was born with the most beautiful strawberry blonde hair, which darkened early on to an enviable auburn. Now back in Brisbane after three years living in London - where I was lucky enough to meet up with her once with Dad and with again with Rob  - Millie is living life to the full. She has an amazing singing voice and is a great musician, has a great eye for fashion design, and is also a talented cook.  Happy birthday Millie Moo!

Millie and Rob, Ai Wei Wei exhibition, Royal Academy December 2015

Day 57 and I'm feeling well, albeit tired after my busy day on campus. The tingling has reduced and there seems to be no other side effects - may it continue for the next week. 

P.S. I've given the blog a make over today in terms of formatting, just because the option was offered to me, and because I can! If you want to read earlier posts, just click on the Earring collection journal link at the top of the post.

Day 56: Vicky and David 2: Jet Drops

Another day, another Doctor's appointment. So much of this treatment time is spent sitting around in surgery waiting rooms, then telling the same story to one Doctor after another. This is especially the case for me who, now more than ever, is determined to draw together the best medical team possible, which necessarily requires seeking second opinions. I'm looking for Doctor's who have advanced medical skills, and who also who rank highly on the communications index. In my growing experience, this means seeking out female doctors who generally lack the hubris and god-like syndrome that affects so many of their male colleagues.

Today's appointment was with a new surgeon, Dr Elisabeth Rippy - someone who came highly recommended by two of her patients, by Dr Kath, by my oncologist, and the radio oncologist who I met last week. Elisabeth lived up to expectations, starting the consultation with her making me a cup of tea! Like all the doctors I've seen in the past three months, she was very sympathetic, noting just how unlucky I've been given my particular cancer which is usually successfully treated with the surgical interventions I had seven years ago. She was thorough and well briefed - having read 8 years of detailed medical notes before I arrived. I am now aware of the possible side effects of the radiotherapy, and the potential surgical interventions that will or will not be necessary (hopefully the latter) at some point down the track. It's comforting to know I can turn to Elisabeth if I have any concerns, and that she will be able to address any complications that may arise at the end of stage two of the treatment. Elisabeth thought I was managing the chemo - doses of domestos as she aptly called it - very well, which is encouraging.

Rob with the girl n' pearl

As ever, Rob was at my side during the appointment. We met Elisabeth after a morning in the city, having fun 'doing the messages' as his Guyra family would call it. Part of the fun was selecting a new jigsaw puzzle, a painting by van Dael. I love still-life paintings from the Dutch Golden period. The Mauritshuis in the Hague which has an astounding collection of these masterpieces is one of my favourite galleries. Among its superb collection is - appropriately for this blog - Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring. I visit every time I'm in the Hague, which fortunately has been on a regular basis during the past decade, including with Robbie in 2015. I know I'm going to love working with this image.

I'm playing catch up with the earrings today, wearing a pair I received as a birthday from Vicky and David (Day 17), after seeing them yesterday when I was earrings earrings from Suzie and Pete. I love these jet drops, attached to a cluster of small clear crystals. They are so delicate, move just right and the facets of the jet catch the light beautifully. There are still many more pairs from this generous couple to come.

On Day 56 I've been feeling well. The tingling continues but hasn't got any worse. Elisabeth suggests I paint my nails black to block any sunlight which helps to protect them. It was a big day in town, so I came home and feel alseep, but otherwise all is well. I looking forward to a good week before Round 4 tomorrow week.

I'm lucky to have sons who keep me laughing; today it was Angus who emerged from getting dressed in his Chewy mask, then donned his glasses and sat down to do his maths homework as if this was the ordinary course of events. So funny!

Chewy does his homework

Day 55: Suzie and Pete's Dubai silver mirrors

Suzie and Pete with the amazing Enid Crogan

Suzie and Pete Crogan are two very important people in the golden web. Suzie is not only my Aunt, my Mum's third and youngest sister, but she and her wonderful husband Pete are my very close friends too. In my teenage years they were my 'alternate' parents, the ones on whose door I would knock when I needed to express my teenage angst. They were always so welcoming, understanding and non-judgemental. I babysat their three gorgeous children - Ben, Samantha and Jodie - taking care of the girls from the time they were born, and they kept me in employment during my undergrad degree- keeping customer records in a very early computer in the backroom at Suzie's hairdressing salon in Armidale.

I'm wearing these earrings today because it's their wedding anniversary - their 40th! I still remember that day so clearly and for some reason have always locked this date in my head. I think it was because at 10, I was so completely blown away by the beautiful bride and groom. Suzie, always so stylish then and now, pulled off wearing a turban with her veil as only she could, and Pete's jacket and frill-fronted shirt are a knockout! So 1977!



Through Pete I know Pauline; through Suzie I met Natalie. And, it's just dawned on me these earrings link these four wonderful and important people in my life. Suzie and Pete gave them to me when they joined us at Pauline's for Christmas in 2008. They had bought them in Dubai where they lived for a number of years, and it was there they met Nat, and took her under their protective wing, as they had done for me as a teenager. Suzie hooked up Nat and I when she realised we both had an interest in gender discrimination.

At Ree's birthday, 1984

Suzie and me, 2016.

Rob and I have had so many fun times with Suzie and Peter, including at this fancy hat party for Ree's birthday, back in 1984. They both seem ageless to me, keeping fit and active and living busy lives, doing everything with flair and great taste. Pete's also been good for my health, convincing me to give up smoking (in September 1986, but who's counting!) by committing to buy me a bottle of Penfold's wine at the end of every month I was off the cigarettes until I reached the pinnacle - a bottle of Grange. I rose to the challenge, and have never smoked again, but I have developed a fancy for good red wine!

I love these two and still feel very protected by them. Happy Anniversary!

Day 55 has been very relaxed. The highlight has been a visit from dearest friends Vicky and David who bought me a photobook made up of photos of our times together -  including travelling to Portugal and Bali, and shots of the boys I've never seen before. It is such a thoughtful and precious gift. It was lovely catching up with them, our first chance to check in with David since his Dad died, and for us to express our sympathy in person.

This afternoon I did some work while the boys did their thing, then a lovely evening walk with Robbie and Molly. The tingling in my fingers and toes is picking up pace, something I need to have checked out this week. Otherwise I'm feeling well after a really enjoyable, well paced weekend.

Day 54: Pink crystal bling

My wedding jeweller, Sarina, gave me these earrings as a gift after she finished making my wedding jewellery - she made them from some remaining crystals from the shoulder straps she made for dress. I love them because they remind me of one of the pairs of earrings that first got me started on this obsession - my maternal Nanna Clare's 1950s era single crystal earrings on a chain. Nanna lived in Armidale too and we spent lots of time with her as kids. Arriving at her house, I'd head straight for her jewellery draws and spend hours playing with her earrings, almost all made of sparkly rhinestone. My Aunty Suzie who was still living at home at the time, reminded me of this only last week. Nanna had a great selection - all screw or clip-ons because she didn't have her ears pierced - which was perfect for a 8 year old who wasn't allowed to have hers pierced until she reached age 12.

James, George and Olly about to outstretch Poppy, tonight

I'm wearing these today to mark the celebration of the 'Three Amigos' cousins' birthdays. As I've mentioned earlier, James, George and Oliver were born to me, Cazy and Lindy within 13 days of each other. Today is Olly's birthday and we celebrated this and the other two boys turning 14 as part of other celebrations at Paul and Geeta's tonight. Olly is a gorgeous boy - a great  musician and sportsman, and a special younger sibling for Hugh and Charlie. Happy Birthday Olly!

Announcing the triplets, Brisbane 2002

I was wearing these earrings the night of Dad's 60th when he announced to the gathered crowd that he was about to become a grandfather again, not once, not twice but three times over. You can see from his face in the photo how much fun he had with his speech. It was hilarious! Despite what many people thought (!), no planning had gone in to us attempting to be pregnant at the time - indeed for awhile Cazy was convinced that she had food poisoning from a trip to South America, not morning sickness; however the iced coffee milk she was craving at the time was a bit of a sign something else was up!

Pregnant sisters at 7 months.

It was a wonderful experience as a first time mum to have a ready made mother's club, supported as well by our oldest sister Ree, well versed in all the trials and tribulations of motherhood with her own four kids by then. Joyfully, it also meant I had no need to engage with the pretentious women I met at my allocated Paddington mother's group who spent their time comparing the expensive brand of baby clothes their little ones were spewing all over.

Doing the Nanny juggle

Darling Mum wasn't sure in which direction to run during those busy first months: our labours happened out of the planned sequence, and then Cazy and my lack of skill as first time mums had to be weighed against Lindy's burden of having her hands full now with three busy boys. Somehow Mum managed to give us all equal time and provided freezers full of nourishing food and delicious treats.

Mums and Bubs, May 2003

Three Amigo's P&G's wedding 2008

The boys have very different personalities with distinct interests and skills, but they have a bond with each other which is very special.

Three Amigos at Dad and Margie's wedding, Nov 2016

Aside from the birthdays, tonight we also celebrated at Paul and Geeta's housewarming, and belatedly, Geeta receiving her Australian citizenship. It was lovely having Dad and Margie with us before they return to Armidale tomorrow, and for our good family friend, Aloyisious, to join the celebrations before he leaves Sydney to take up an international role for the Jesuit Refugee Service in Rome. Geeta made the most delicious curries, and Gracie's chocolate fudge dessert matched with Robbie's passionfruit ice cream was a treat.

As a gift to mark her citizenship we gave Geeta a pair of Pip's beautiful earring creations, a design based on the Australian native stingless bee which Pip told me make the most incredible spiral honeycomb, and so indeed it does.  They suited Geets beautifully. We're so happy she's chosen to make Australia home.

Geeta w. citizenship earrings

Completed Kukenhof!

Day 54 is a momentous one: I finished the puzzle! Angus helped me put in the last few pieces and it gave me such a sense of accomplishment to see it completed - my first ever 1000 piece jigsaw. It's been such a helpful distraction over the past few weeks that I admit to feeling a bit panicky about not having another one to start straight away. As I've already said, its also been a real metaphor for my treatment. Feeling so stuck in the doldrums last weekend, a week on I feel much brighter and as if I'm pushing through and making progress. Aside from some tingling and burning sensations in in my fingers and toes - which will be monitored carefully, especially during the next drug regime - I'm feeling good today. Being surrounded by family made me feel very loved and protected. On on!