Day 1: Annette's Annecy Studs

Starting chemo today was a strange experience - I felt strong, just wanting to get on with 'it' but also feeling some anxiety about not knowing what was about to happen and my reaction to the drugs. Holding firmly to Rob's hand as I walked through the door of the Kinghorn Cancer Centre I was quickly made feel calm and comfortable by Darrin, my nurse for the session. He was clearly one of the most senior nurses on the floor, with lots of other nurses deferring to him on small and big questions.

The chemo 'suite' is new, light and bright, and has maybe thirty chairs - about half were full today. Australian medical care at its best. Old and frail, young and fit, women and men facing all different types of cancer. There were lots of staff on hand, nurses, administrators and young doctors - one in sparkly silver gym boots which I took a liking to. I'm thinking that oncology has become one of the medical specialisations attractive to women (it lacks the machismo and god syndrome needed for surgery is my guess, and may be more family friendly - 60 rather than 80 hours a week).  This of course is yet to be 'fact checked' - what the heck, maybe I'll just claim it as an 'alternative fact!'

Darrin accessed my new port quickly and painlessly - all the while I had Mum's words in my ears - "I love my portacath" - and now I know why - no digging around for veins, just a small pinprick going in and a small tug coming out and that's it. Relief! Relief also that the the port ran as expected and I had no signs of allergy to the drugs ...so far so good...

The infusion for the first three rounds includes three separate drugs - Fluorouracil, Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide - known in the game as the FEC cocktail. Following these infusions I will have another three of Docetaxel. Different drugs, different side effects I gather. The infusion took longer than we'd been advised because of the port - a total of four rather than three hours, including the infusion of additional anti-nausea medication. My god these drugs are toxic - I'm on 4 different anti-nausea meds - but it's the best science can do right now, and I'll take what they can give me.

Rob - my steady, calm, rock - stayed by my side throughout. We learnt lots from Darrin about the process - including how they have to gown up separately for each patient - in my case a couple of times per session - and dispose of all the equipment - googles, masks, gowns and all on top of the tubes, bags, syringes. Where does this waste go we wonder?

I left the clinic and in 36oc heat walked hand in hand with Rob the two blocks back to the car past St V hospital, feeling surprisingly normal. I have had a restful afternoon (thanks to darling Cazy for taking care of our boys). So far still so good...

All going to plan, I have 126 days of this chemo regime (followed by 25 radiotherapy sessions over 5 weeks). To make this bearable I've decided one nice thing I can do is focus on one of my obsessions and make my way through my extensive earring collection (108 and counting) - many given to me by loved ones and from special places I've visited and events I've celebrated over the years. My aim (famous last words) is to take a photo every day wearing a different pair and write a little post about the earrings' provenance to help remind me of the fundamental sentiment I want to hold on to through out this entire process: Gratitude. Gratitude for my beautiful husband and sons, precious family, incredibly supportive friends, generous colleagues and the many carers and health care system that are contributing to blasting this cancer away, hopefully once and for all.

Today's earrings are very important because I inherited these from my beloved Mum who I'm missing terribly right now - for her always calm, wise and loving words and gentle touch - as I face a treatment regime that she knew all too well. Since Mum died I wear a piece of her jewellery almost every day. It makes me feel very close to her, as it did today.

I don't usually wear studs - arrogantly for many years I held the attitude that if they don't move, they're not worth wearing! As I grown older I'm increasingly appreciating their value and now have a growing collection.

These particular earrings have great sentimental value to me because Mum and I bought them together in the beautiful town of Annecy, in the Haute Savoie region of France. Rob and I and  James (aged 2) had met Mum and Dad there in Spring 2005 (after a little bit of a hiccup at Geneva airport, but that's another story!). We spent a few happy days exploring the area enjoying the lovely local rieslings and having a good excuse to eat delicious creamy dishes. The earrings with a matching pendant were a present to Mum for her birthday from all her children, which made them even more special to her then, and to me now too.

Ree arrives to give me a buzz cut tomorrow - which will enable me to show off the collection even better.