Day 104: Mum's black and tan crystal drops

Day 104 and I had a quiet morning reading a draft of one Nat's fascinating PhD chapters; while I worked I was kindly served coffee from barista Angus, matched with a delicious pistachio biscuit baked by Maddie, in a Limoges cup from Cazy  = perfection!

At lunch time I headed over to Rozelle to join my siblings - except Lindy - & Geets, Jai and Gracie for lunch. Geets cooked her famous Malaysian style Chicken Rice which was absolutely delicious, and we had a lovely relaxing afternoon catching up. Ree doesn't get to town often, so it was great to have her company.

Meanwhile the boys went to the AFL to see the Swannies finally break their string of losses, enjoying a resounding win over Brisbane. The boys said it was a fabulous game in perfect spring weather. Steph (Day 28) will be so happy. Cheer, Cheer!

Knowing I was seeing family, I wore some of Mum's earrings - a pair of black and tan crystal drops - which sparkle in the light. Everyone noticed them and remembered her wearing them, which made her feel close. 

I spent a quiet night at home with the puzzle - 3/4 the way through now!- and preparing mentally for my medical appointments tomorrow and last infusion on Tuesday. I'm dreading starting the steroids again tomorrow - it means even less sleep, even more fluid retention. Urgh! But I'll draw on my mantra for the next few weeks - 'just one more time' and sing along with Whitney: 'step by step, day by day'.. 

Day 103: Onyx 4

The highlight of my day was seeing my big sister Ree. She flew down from Brisbane this morning to check up on me - she's been looking out for me for 50 years now! I hadn't seen her since the very early days of treatment when she cut off all my hair (Day 2). Just as Mum would have done, Ree arrived with a ready made care package, including some body oil which is so soothing for my skin right now. We spent a lovely morning together catching up on news and enjoying a delicious brunch at a cafe around the corner. It was wonderful to see the progress Ree has made designing a make-up collection which is just to about to launch in the US. Always one for big ideas, Ree has hit on an exciting range of products with a ready-made market that is sure to be a big success. Go sis!

My eyes were a bit better today so I was able to drive Ree over to Paul and Geeta's where she's staying tonight, and enjoyed a cup of tea and catch up with Geets and a cuddle with Jai. I came home and fell straight to sleep.

Today I'm wearing another pair of Onyx earrings, also French - bought in Montpellier on a Christmas shopping spree one day en route to Pauline and John's in Lasalle. I really like these and wear them often. I remembered that I had a gorgeous photo of Ree and Jen Fleming (Day 46) when she was wearing them at Robbie's 50th birthday party - which linked them to her today. I'm also captured wearing them with Mum, at Christmas at Cazy's in 2012. She's just broken her foot, but seemed happy - as she always was when surrounded by all her chicks.

On day 103 I've had more energy than usual. I feel a bit cross that just as I'm finally on the upswing I've only got two days to enjoy it. Rather than get too miserable about the next toxic infusion, I keep imaging now how happy I'm going to feel this time in three weeks when I can just keep improving and not have to steel myself for another chemo treatment. 

Today is John Bishop's 70th birthday. He's one of the most generous and charming people one could ever hope to meet. Sending love to John, and here's to a great celebration full of lots of champagne and dancing!

Day 102: Pink Pearls Galore (Tiffany 5)

Cazy, Linz, Maddie, Deb and Me, sans Mel and Lizzie

With Mel but without Maddie and Lizzie!

I'm so spoilt. Today Deb and Mel hosted a wonderful morning tea in their divine jewel box house for me and some of my special friends. It all started when I suggested to Lindsey -who is about to renovate her house - that she should take a look at Deb and Mel's fabulous renovations for some ideas, and Deb took it from there. Maddie, Cazy and Lizzie joined us, though Lizzie left before we could capture her in the photos. It's hard to believe Deb and Mel moved in only a few months ago; the house already looks so perfectly complete and more amazingly, the garden is so lush, thanks to Mel's green thumbs.

Birthday celebrations 2011, with new pink pearls.

I was in a pink mood today. I started with the beautiful string of pink pearls Deb had bought me when I received my Future Fellowship and moved to UNSW. I matched them with my gorgeous Tiffany's pink pearl drops that Robbie bought me as a birthday gift in about 2011. I was wearing them at a family birthday party on that day.  It's one of the bonuses of a boxing day birthday that I so often get to spend it with those I love, and everyone's still on holidays and in a partyish mood, albeit with hangovers.

Adding to my spoilt-ness, I received these bright flowers from Lindsey, who kindly chauffeured me to and from Balmain because my vision is so blurry, as well as some stunning new earrings from Lizzie, to be displayed soon.

Day 102 was a gorgeous autumn sunny day. It started with some thoughtful email messages from Pauline and Vivien that came in from the UK overnight - having all of these wonderful people at my back are helping enormously in these challenging last stages. I joined Rob and Molly for a morning walk, then visited to the pharmacy to get some eye ointment, which seems to have helped with the streaming although temporarily making things blurrier. After morning tea, Lindsey dropped me home for a quiet afternoon, including a nice chat with Dad. I also had a lovely long overdue catch up with Lisa in Adelaide tonight. We've got some tired people in our house tonight, so its a quiet and early night. Ree arrives tomorrow morning to help keep me distracted over the weekend before the final onslaught.

Day 101: Maddies Blue and Goldleaf studs

Today I'm loving wearing my new blue/multicoloured and gold leaf studs which were a gift from Maddie (Day 21) a few weeks ago. The size and colour combination are perfect for me. Without any hair, I'm drawn to studs more and more. I'm wearing them today because after a few abortive attempts, Maddie and finally got to see each other late this afternoon. She bought me some gorgeous cabbage flowers and homemade pistachio biscuits - yum! We had a lovely walk around the park - more a waddle on my part - and enjoyed a catch up over a cup of tea. I found another old album the other day with some great photos of Maddie and I in our teenage years, including this strip taken in 1982 at Circular Quay when we were in town for our work experience, staying with Margie (Day 61) and Gary. As usual, Maddie is looking very demure, while I look very silly. I'm lovin' our flicked fringes! My dress was a turquoise blue/green with white dots and I think Maddie's was yellow.

Day 101 and its so great to be firmly in the triple figures; I received some lovely messages from Nat, Deb, Lizzie, Hilary and Margie spurring me on for the last leg. I spent a very quiet morning in bed after waking after yet another restless night feeling exhausted, and with a bloody nose. As I've said before, one never knows where and when the next side effect will appear! The lie-in did me the world of good. I then had a gentle stroll down to my beautician, Aoife who gave me a great mani/pedicure - I'm still enjoying wearing the black polish. Thankfully my nails are holding on, even if they are painful; I'm sure this regular treat has contributed to keeping them strong and in good shape. Robbie has a night out with the divine Chris McHugh (Day 20) tonight. It's great for him to get out and have a break from time to time. The boys are taking good care of me.

Day 100: Tiffany 4

days down and aren't I happy about that! (It's the closest I'll ever get to having something in common with the Donald!). Today one of those weird time-warp moments where it seems like it's only been a blink since Day 1, when I had my first treatment at the Kinghorn Centre, and also like forever ago.  All I know is that I have 26 more days until I'm officially at the end of the last chemo cycle. This timeframe is finally starting to feel manageable, even though I know I've still got a lot to get through between now and then. 

Today I'm feeling incredibly grateful to have come this far with the loving support of so many people near and far. Grit and endurance are so much a part of this process and I've only managed to tap into both because of this constant support and signs of solidarity via thoughtful messages, phonecalls (even if I've not returned the calls!), earrings, flowers, food, and other gifts. 

I'm also so pleased that I've managed to get to this point - and I hope to the end of the treatment - without having had any serious infections or viruses that land so many chemo patients in hospital. Along with so many other things, Rob and the boys are largely responsible for this, ensuring I don't have to wander too far into the world and keeping things clean and calm on the home front.

I'm celebrating this milestone - and feeling spoilt - by wearing a Tiffany's silver mesh set that Rob has bought me piece-by-piece over the years: silver hoop earrings, a matching bangle and ring. We were trying to remember today the sequence of their arrival; we think it was bangle first, earrings second then the ring. I'm pretty sure the bangle was the first gift Rob bought me from Tiffany's - a birthday present, around 2003. I'm certain the ring came last, in 2005: Rob took me to Tiffany's in Hawaii to buy it while we were there for me to attend a conference. I had these earrings on at James' Christmas concert at Boundary Lane, where he was dressed up as a chef when he was 3 years old. I don't often wear these pieces together, but love wearing each of them as separate items. They're classic, and will never date.

Day 100 and I managed a walk with Rob and Molly around Sydney park: I got completely puffed out walking up the hill, with aching legs, patently demonstrating to me just how unfit I am. I can't wait to get back some condition after this treatment is over. 

At lunch time we headed back to Cancerworld, this time to St Vincent's radio-oncology department where I'll be starting radiotherapy on 5 June. The purpose of today's 'simulation' session was for the staff to demonstrate the procedure and for me to be measured up for treatment. I received my first ever tattoos - 4 tiny dots pinpointing the key treatment areas which will be my lymph nodes under my arm, in the chest wall and my neck. Accuracy and consistency are the name of the game with this treatment. I will need 25 sessions - apparently this is best practice, a protocol apparently not available in the UK where only 15 sessions are the norm - each lasting only a matter of 2-3 minutes. Again I met with the delightful Dr Rowena (Day 52) who explained that the worst side effects of this will be ongoing fatigue and a gradual build up of redness, and eventually a burn around the treatment site, the severity of which varies from patient to patient. Worse case, down the track I may need more surgery to address shrinkage of the skin. Fingers crossed it won't be that bad. 

As Rob and I drove back from the hospital, we found ourselves once again reflecting on how extremely fortunate we are to be in the care of such professional, capable and accessible doctors. I'm very conscious that I'm experiencing the gold standard in health care. We know only too well, given the experience of  our relatives in regional NSW, this isn't everyone's experience of the Australian health system, even though it should be. Gratitude! 

The trip tired me out, so home for a rest and an early night.

A shout out to dear Philip (Day 99) on his birthday today. What a year it's been for him, and how wonderful he's well enough to celebrate his 51st birthday in fine style in Sydney today.

Let the triple figures roll on...

Day 99: Lindy's Handmade Ceramic Beads

My clever sister Linda (Day 15) made today's earrings. Working to get some balance in her busy life as a successful business woman and the mother of the three tallest boys in the world, last year she returned to doing something she loves but hadn't done for years - making ceramics. She found a great teacher in Newcastle and every Thursday spends time creating beautiful objects. (With Bretty who makes divine bowls, that's two people in the golden web I know currently working in this medium, and dear Betty is an excellent potter too). Recently, Lindy took a side-step away from homewares to make some beads which she's using to construct wonderful necklaces and earrings. My earrings today are asymmetric beads on a hexagonal hoop. The dove grey colour is gorgeous. They go perfectly with a scarf Cazy bought me at the start of this journey. Having seen Lindy yesterday, I'm wearing the earrings a day late, but close enough.

Philip, 1984

Health warriors 2017

Rob and I started early this morning with a visit to meet Angus' school principal, which went well. We then caught up with for morning tea with one of my oldest and dearest friends Philip Carrigan. Philip and I went to high school together and were neighbours during our angsty teenage years. We spent many hours smoking and playing records in my lounge room, and he became an integral part of the Chappell family. I'd often visit his house too, to listen to entirely different set of records - the Who & John Lennon come straight to mind- and to chat over cups of tea with his Dad, the delightful Max, and Philip's wonderful sister Louise. Philip taught me about cricket, gave me wise counsel about teenage boys, and showed me the value of true friendship. Although we haven't seen much of each other over the years with Philip having lived in Japan for a long time running a successful business, he remains an important person in my life. This was powerfully bought home to me last year when he suffered a life threatening illness and was thought unlikely to survive. It was such a joy to see him today happy and healthy. We shared health war stories and plans for our futures, which will for both of us include belatedly celebrating our 50th birthday that were scuttled by surgery emergencies last year.

After an afternoon nap, I went for a lovely evening walk with Robbie and Molly. The sunset was stunning. Robbie cooked a great dinner, we had a lovely chat with Nanna Betty on the phone, then had another night with the puzzle with streaming, weepy eyes. Another day down!

Day 98: Andy's Israeli Green Drops

Andy (Day 16) gave me two fabulous pairs of earrings at the half way point of my treatment - the Hamsa Hands (Day 57) and these wonderful drops, which are a faceted green stone encased in beaten silver. The colour of the stone is really unusual, and shifts with the light; they move perfectly and are a pleasure to wear. Andy tells me they are from Israel, making them even more special and exotic.

I selected them today because I had a work meeting with Andy, Sarah (Day 93) and Emily (Day 92). Even though I joined  by skype, and didn't even turn the camera on, it was nice to be wearing them and feel connected through my earrings. It was a very productive meeting - we made lots of good decisions which will push forward our final Australian Research Council grant commitments.

Robbie and I had some lovely visitors today too. First my dear sister-in-law Kerrie, direct from the eye hospital, from where Rob collected her. Kerrie needed emergency surgery last night for a torn retina. It sounds awful, but thankfully the operation was a success, and she was manging well considering.

This afternoon sister Lindy Lou came to visit. She has a Sydney meeting tomorrow and decided to come earlier to see me, and spend the night with Paulie and Geets. We enjoyed a stroll in the afternoon sunshine and a good chat about managing our complex and busy lives.

I enjoyed my dinner - a thai green curry courtesy of my brother, Paulie - and a quiet night with the puzzle. It's a bit of a struggle with such watery eyes, but I'm obsessed.