Day 105: Vicki and David 4 - Chocolate Drops

Angus in armour with V&D and James, 2012

My dear  friends Vicky and David (Day 17) have been constantly cheering me on from the sidelines, including with a string of kind messages last night. These messages, and the fact they are 'lucky', made me reach for this pair of chocolate drop earrings V&D bought me for my birthday around 2007. I remember wearing this pair one day when I raced in to collect James from aftercare at school and noticed as I jumped back into the car and looked in the rear vision mirror that I was missing one... Argh! -- it's just the worst feeling. I immediately re-traced my steps but couldn't see it in the playground but asked the teacher to keep an eye out for it. With huge relief one of the kids found it and handed it in, so it made its way safely back to me, and they have since become one of my lucky pairs.

I thought a lucky charm was appropriate on Day 105 as I headed back to Chemoworld at the Kinghorn Centre for my pre-infusion check up. I had blood tests, and aside from being anaemic which helps explain the ongoing fatigue, all the readings look good enough to go ahead for the final treatment tomorrow.  I then had my appointment with Rachel who was her usual incredibly empathic and professional self. Rachel explained that my current (and very annoying) weight gain is a side effect of the chemo that I just need to live with for the time being. I should expect ongoing fluid retention and swelling, including in my ankles for a month or so after this treatment and into the radiation period. My streaming eyes are paradoxically the result of dryness so I need to start using drops. Rachel smiles when I report no mouth ulcers and just quietly says with a smile while she types: 'coconut oil'.

She explained that it will take quite some time to work through all the general chemo after effects, which may take up to 12 months: how great, the gift that just keeps giving!  She knows I'm doing it tough, but also explained that compared to many people I've managed the chemo really well, which is heartening. I'll see her in early July to start discussing the third phase of the treatment - hormone therapy- before which I'll need a bone density test. I also need a CT scan to check on those pesky tiny liver spots which everyone suspects are benign, and should still look the same at the end of the treatment as they did when they were first detected in December. Fingers crossed! I've realised the mention of the word scan sends me into a cold sweat; for me they are the most stressful part of this entire ordeal for some reason. I can get my port out soon too so I can swim again - yipee!

Rob and I came back and I had a restful afternoon on the couch while the steroids really stareted kicking in and making me buzz.

I had a very brief visit from Nat this afternoon on her way across to UNSW, which bucked me up. She bought me an amazing new puzzle by well known Sydney artist Del Kathryn Barton from the NSW Art Gallery. It's my first contemporary art puzzle and looks fabulous - all those additional breasts seem appropriate somehow! I'd only said last night to Rob that I'll need to look for a new puzzle to get me through this last phase once Vincent is done - which has been so enjoyable.

Drawing on her German Judo Olympics Coach, Nat also gave me some great advice for tomorrow: I need to 'pump up my mind' 'Hup hup'!... Here I go!